Elmore Leonard Dialogue Mastery

“Isn’t there something we can do together?” Wayne said, “Outside of visit your mom and pretend we’re as dumb as she is?”

“I mean some kind of work or business we could both get into,” Carmen said,

“and be together more.”

“Wear matching outfits,” Wayne said,

“and enter ballroom-dancing contests.

Tell me what you want.”

“I don’t know, but it isn’t doing laundry and dusting and making pies. I don’t even know how to make pies.” “I noticed that.”

“And I don’t care to learn, either.”

Killshot

Elmore Leonard

Writing Exercise: The Tension Beneath the Words

Key Writing Practice Development Techniques:

1. Unspoken Conflict in Dialogue – The conversation must reveal tension without direct statements of emotion or problem-solving. The subtext—what remains unsaid—is the driving force.

2. Power Shifts and Emotional Undercurrents – Dialogue should demonstrate shifting dynamics between the characters, where control, resentment, or longing emerges naturally.

3. Voice and Rhythm as Characterization – Speech patterns, pauses, and word choices should distinguish the characters, making their relationship clear through tone and cadence alone.

Writing Prompt:

Write a scene of at least 500 words in which two characters discuss a seemingly mundane topic, but the real conflict simmers beneath the surface. They might talk about what to eat for dinner, a household task, or weekend plans, but every line should reveal their true emotions—resentment, regret, desire, frustration—without outright stating them.

Each character should have a distinct voice and perspective. No internal monologue or explicit narration explaining the tension; it should be evident in the dialogue and how they interact. Use pacing, interruptions, and rhythm to convey mood and shifting power dynamics.

Evaluation Criteria for a Strong Response:

• Subtext and Layering: The dialogue must reveal an unspoken conflict without directly naming it.

• Authenticity and Distinct Voices: Each character should have a unique way of speaking, with personality and emotional weight embedded in their words.

• Rhythmic Tension: The back-and-forth flow should build momentum, creating moments of friction and pause that heighten the emotional stakes.

• Implied History: The reader should sense a larger backstory and relationship dynamics without needing exposition.

Weak vs. Strong Execution:

Weak:

“I thought we were going to fix the sink today,” Tom said.

“I had a long day,” Anna said.

“You always say that.”

“I work hard.”

“So do I.”

Anna sighed. “I just don’t want to do this right now.”

This is too on-the-nose, lacking subtext and rhythm. The conflict is flatly stated, making it uninteresting.

Strong:

“I stopped by the hardware store,” Tom said, tossing his keys onto the counter.

Anna glanced at him over her wine glass. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“You said the sink was leaking.”

“I said it dripped.”

“Dripping leads to leaking.”

She swirled her glass. “I can live with it.”

Tom leaned against the counter, watching her. “That what you’re doing?”

She set her glass down carefully. “What?”

“Living with it.”

Here, the conversation about the sink is about something much deeper—avoidance, dissatisfaction, a widening distance between them. The tension builds naturally, with pauses and shifts in power.

Follow-Up Questions for Workshopping/Revisions:

• Does the dialogue effectively reveal the underlying conflict without stating it outright?

• Are the characters’ voices distinct and natural?

• Does the rhythm and pacing create tension, rather than making the conversation feel flat?

• Can any lines be trimmed or reworded for sharper impact?

• Does the setting subtly reinforce the mood without over-explanation?

Recommended Reading:

• Say Yes by Tobias Wolff – A conversation about race that unravels into something deeply personal and revealing.