“She feels her knees liquefy, her strength giving way, and as she sinks onto the doormat, Charlie comes down the creaky staircase behind her, bleary-eyed and wild-haired, asking, “Is it about Dad?”” (Blake Crouch, Dark Matter)
Writing Exercise: Creating Emotional Authenticity Through Physicality, Tension, and Subtext
Key Writing Practice Development Techniques:
1. Physical Responses as Emotional Cues: The quotation illustrates how physicality (e.g., “knees liquefy”) can effectively convey emotion without explicit explanation. This deepens the reader’s understanding of the character’s internal state through their body’s reaction.
2. Building Tension Through Pacing: The inclusion of “as she sinks onto the doormat” builds tension by slowing the moment down, allowing the reader to anticipate the next action and feel the weight of the scene.
3. Subtext and Implicit Backstory: The line “Is it about Dad?” suggests a layered backstory without exposition, inviting the reader to infer the characters’ shared history and the stakes of the current situation.
Writing Prompt:
Write a 500-word scene in which a character experiences a physical response to sudden, emotionally overwhelming news. This scene must:
• Show the emotional impact through physical details and actions rather than direct statements of feeling.
• Incorporate a secondary character who reacts differently to the news, creating tension.
• Use dialogue sparingly to suggest subtext and hint at a deeper, unresolved backstory between the characters.
For example, instead of writing, “She felt devastated,” describe her body language, involuntary movements, or sensations (e.g., trembling hands, blurred vision). Similarly, let the secondary character’s dialogue and behavior hint at their relationship and the stakes without overexplaining.
Evaluation Criteria:
1. Strength of Physical Descriptions:
• Strong: The scene uses vivid, sensory-driven details to communicate emotion (e.g., “Her legs buckled under her like a marionette’s strings cut all at once”).
• Weak: The response relies on clichés or generic descriptions (e.g., “She felt sad and couldn’t stand”).
2. Effective Use of Tension:
• Strong: The pacing heightens the reader’s anticipation and focuses on small, significant beats in the moment.
• Weak: The response rushes through the scene, diminishing the emotional impact.
3. Subtext and Depth:
• Strong: Dialogue and action hint at underlying conflicts or shared histories, leaving space for reader interpretation.
• Weak: Exposition dominates, spelling out the relationship or backstory in a way that feels forced or flat.
Follow-Up Workshop Questions:
• What physical details were most effective in conveying the character’s emotional state? How could they be refined further?
• Does the pacing of the scene maintain tension and focus on the emotional core of the moment?
• What is left unsaid in the dialogue, and how does that create curiosity or resonance for the reader?
• How could the secondary character’s reaction contrast more dynamically with the protagonist’s to add tension?
Recommended Reading:
• Excerpt: The opening scene of The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Note how McCarthy uses sparse, sensory details and subtext to convey the protagonist’s love, fear, and protectiveness toward his son.
• Short Story: A Small, Good Thing by Raymond Carver. This story masterfully conveys emotional depth through physicality, restrained dialogue, and subtext, particularly in its portrayal of grief and connection.
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