Writing Exercise: The Metaphor as Engine, Not Ornament

Writing Exercise: The Metaphor as Engine, Not Ornament

Writing Techniques to Practice

1. Purposeful Figurative Language

Metaphors and similes clarify and deepen meaning—not decorate it. They serve the sentence’s logic and emotional tone.

2. Tonally Consistent Imagery

The figurative comparisons must match the voice, setting, and character psychology of the piece.

3. Speculative or Unsettling Turns

Well-placed figurative language introduces movement—shifting a reader’s perception or destabilizing a moment of certainty.

500-Word Writing Prompt

Write a scene in which a character faces a difficult decision, but avoid making the decision explicit in dialogue or internal monologue. Instead, use figurative language to illuminate the character’s psychological state and the weight of the moment. The scene must be grounded in physical action: a walk through a parking lot, cooking a meal, repairing something, packing a suitcase. You may not use more than three sentences of direct thought.

Let figurative language suggest the stakes, the conflict, the values in tension. One extended metaphor may carry the arc of the scene, or several brief similes may surface as the character interacts with objects. The decision should remain subtextual, but unmistakable.

Evaluation Criteria for a Successful Draft

1. Figurative language is specific, fresh, and reveals emotional complexity.

Strong: “He scraped burnt rice from the pan like peeling off a layer of skin he no longer wanted to wear.”

Weak: “She was as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”

2. The metaphors clarify rather than obscure.

Strong: A metaphor opens a window into what the character won’t admit aloud.

Weak: A metaphor calls attention to itself without enriching the scene.

3. Tone and imagery are consistent with the story’s world.

Strong: A grief scene that uses cold, brittle imagery.

Weak: A playful metaphor in the middle of a somber scene.

4. The figurative language moves the narrative forward.

Strong: The comparison helps the reader understand a shift in the character’s state.

Weak: The comparison pauses the scene or functions as a literary aside.

Workshopping and Revision Questions

• Does the figurative language make the scene more emotionally legible or more confusing?

• Could the scene stand without the metaphors? If so, what are they adding?

• Do the comparisons fit the character’s voice and worldview?

• Is there an overreliance on any one image or metaphor?

• Are there missed opportunities for metaphor in the physical actions?

Recommended Reading

Excerpt from Bluets by Maggie Nelson — especially the sections that use color to explore longing, attachment, and philosophical inquiry. Nelson’s figurative language is bold, emotionally charged, and deeply clarifying.

Examples

Strong response:

A woman wraps plates in newspaper before packing them in a box. She moves carefully, but the wrapping becomes more frantic. “Each dish she packed felt like tucking away an organ she didn’t trust herself to use.” The metaphor builds, layered through the task. By the end, we understand she is choosing to leave her marriage.

Weak response:

A man walks through an alley. “He felt like a cloud. Light. Sad. Full of rain.” The simile is vague, relies on cliché, and doesn’t interact with the scene. The reader learns little about the decision or its emotional texture.

Spend 90 minutes drafting. Spend the last 30 minutes answering the revision questions and reworking two sentences to increase metaphorical precision.

AI Disclosure Statement:

This writing prompt was created in collaboration with ChatGPT, an AI model by OpenAI, to support creative practice. ChatGPT assisted with idea generation and drafting; the final text was edited by the author. The illustration was created using Google Gemini.