“To review: the fundamental unit of storytelling is a two-part move. First, the writer creates an expectation: “Once upon a time, there was a dog with two heads.”” (George Saunders, A Swim in a Pond in the Rain)
Writing Exercise: The Two-Part Move – Setting Expectation, Then Shifting It
Techniques to Practice
Expectation Creation through Specificity: The setup must introduce a distinct image, concept, or emotional cue that activates the reader’s curiosity. Strategic Deflection or Complication: The follow-up must break, twist, or complicate the initial expectation in a meaningful way. Immediate Stakes Establishment: Even in a surreal or fantastical frame, the tension should pivot on human desire, fear, or need.
500-Word Writing Prompt
Begin your scene with a single sentence that sets a striking, vivid expectation. This can be magical, absurd, mundane, or melancholic—but it must be specific. Then, in the course of the next 500 words, pivot. Complicate that expectation. This doesn’t mean negating it. Instead, deepen it: challenge it, subvert it, reframe it. Use character behavior, dialogue, or a shift in tone to force the reader to revise their understanding of what they thought the story would be.
Prompt:
“Once a week, every Friday at dusk, Eloise turned into glass.”
Write a self-contained scene that opens with this line. Don’t explain why it happens—use that expectation as a lever. What changes when someone begins to expect her transformation? Who watches? Who doesn’t? What breaks? Let the expectation bear emotional, relational, or existential weight. Surprise the reader not with spectacle, but with consequence.
Evaluation Criteria for Success
– Strength of Expectation: The first sentence must create a vivid premise that primes the reader emotionally and narratively.
– Transformative Shift: The story must develop in a direction that meaningfully alters the reader’s initial assumption, preferably by revealing character motivation or emotional truth.
– Emotional Resonance: The final impression must land with weight—wistful, chilling, tender, unsettling—because of the shift, not in spite of it.
– Compression with Depth: In 500 words, the story must feel complete in arc, hinting at more without feeling thin.
Follow-Up Workshop Questions
– Where did you feel your assumptions about the story shift? Was the shift earned?
– Does the initial expectation feel meaningful in retrospect, or merely clever?
– What’s the emotional arc of the piece? Does the turn deepen or flatten it?
– How might subtle shifts in tone or word choice reinforce (or undermine) the change?
Model Reading
Excerpt from “Sticks” by George Saunders. In a mere two pages, Saunders sets a seemingly absurd premise—an obsessive father decorating a metal pole in the yard—and pivots to devastating emotional insight. The opening expectation invites laughter; the ending leaves you gutted.
Strong vs. Weak Response Examples
Strong: Opens with the transformation, then introduces a neighbor who speaks to Eloise only on Thursdays to avoid her glass self—until one Friday, he waits. The shift becomes a meditation on loneliness and risk.
Weak: Starts with transformation, then offers exposition about a family curse. The pivot is informational, not emotional. Reader expectation is confirmed, not subverted.
This exercise rewards bold conceptual framing followed by a tonal or emotional turn. It is not about gimmick—it’s about precision, misdirection, and consequence.
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