“I sometimes say that in the exposition we put a pot of water on the stove; getting the action to rise is making the water boil.” (George Saunders, A Swim in a Pond in the Rain)
Writing Exercise: Boil the Water – Building Tension Through Action and Contrast
Key Writing Practice Development Techniques:
Establishing Narrative Heat Early (Dramatic Potential in Exposition): The best expositions do more than orient; they create expectation. A pot on the stove is inert until we sense it’s meant to boil. The exposition must contain the ingredients of unrest. Escalating Tension Through Action and Change: To make the water boil, something must happen. Escalation doesn’t require explosions—just decisions, revelations, or shifts in power. Good stories heat slowly, but constantly. Using Contrast and Disruption: Stillness contrasted with disturbance amplifies tension. The moment of “boil” matters only because of what preceded it.
500-Word Prompt:
Write a two-character scene set entirely in a small, enclosed space: a car stuck in traffic, a kitchen during a power outage, a hospital waiting room, a broken-down elevator. One character holds a secret that directly affects the other, but they’re trying not to reveal it. The secret must be embedded early in the exposition through subtle hints—body language, half-finished sentences, small hesitations. Your job is to “put the pot on the stove.”
Over the course of the scene, escalate the tension—not through argument or confession, but through choices, gestures, questions, silences. The “boil” moment should arrive naturally, triggered by a small but meaningful action. Avoid melodrama. Focus on pressure building under the surface. The reader should feel the shift before it’s spoken.
Evaluation Criteria:
Narrative Heat in Exposition: Does the scene’s opening contain implicit tension, subtle imbalance, or emotional friction? Is the secret perceptible, even if not stated? Rising Action Without Collapse: Does the tension escalate gradually and believably, using scene elements (dialogue, sensory detail, gesture) instead of exposition or backstory? Effective Use of Contrast: Does the climax or turning point feel earned due to a stark contrast with what came before? Does the moment “boil” emotionally, psychologically, or dramatically? 500-Word Precision: Is the story tight, not rushed or bloated? Does each line push the tension forward?
Strong vs. Weak Responses:
Strong Response: Opens with a seemingly mundane scene—two siblings in a car on the way to a funeral. One is silently rehearsing how to tell the other that they weren’t included in the will. The dialogue circles the topic obliquely—mentions of the lawyer, the old house, their father’s watch. The “boil” moment comes when one sibling casually asks, “Did you bring the box?” and the other stiffens, realizing it’s the moment of reveal. The scene ends on an unfinished sentence. Weak Response: Opens with a flat exposition of the setting, then shifts into an argument in the second paragraph. The secret is revealed bluntly through dialogue (“I cheated on you” or “You’re adopted”) without buildup. No sense of escalation or restraint; tension is replaced by melodrama.
Follow-up Workshopping Questions:
Where in the scene does the tension begin to rise? Can it start earlier? What’s the clearest moment of “boil”? Is it too loud or too soft? What sensory details or physical cues could better signal emotional pressure? Does the ending release or sustain the pressure? Should it?
Recommended Reading:
“Victory Lap” by George Saunders (from Tenth of December): A masterclass in subtle rising tension within a confined domestic setting, leading to a boiling-point moment that redefines character. Bonus: “People Like That Are the Only People Here” by Lorrie Moore (from Birds of America): Builds narrative heat from a quiet, clinical setting—a mother in a pediatric oncology ward—using restraint, tonal shifts, and emotional misdirection to bring tension to a boil. The “boil” arrives through internal rupture, not plot twist, making it a perfect companion to the exercise.
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