“Don’t we automatically understand that this new person has appeared to alter or complicate or deepen the first man’s hatred of his job? (Otherwise, what’s he doing here? Get rid of him and find us someone who will alter, complicate, or deepen things. It’s a story, after all, not a webcam.)” (George Saunders, A Swim in a Pond in the Rain)
Character Development Writing Exercise: “Complicate or Deepen”
Techniques Illustrated by the Quotation
1. Purposeful Character Introduction – Every character introduced must change the emotional or narrative calculus. Characters don’t exist in isolation; they must pressure, reveal, or disrupt the protagonist’s state.
2. Dramatic Function over Description – Characters aren’t decorative; they function. Their presence must matter—change must follow.
3. Tension as Engine – Narrative tension arises when a new character creates friction with the status quo. Without that, you don’t have a story; you have observation.
Writing Prompt (500 words)
Write a scene between two characters in a confined or inescapable setting (e.g., long car ride, break room on night shift, waiting area in a hospital). One character must be stuck in a job or role they resent. Introduce the second character only when you’re ready to disrupt or complicate that resentment. The second character might mirror, mock, subvert, or completely misunderstand the first character’s hatred—whatever creates friction.
Your goal is not for the characters to “solve” anything but to create emotional movement: reveal something new, deepen an existing wound, or shift the dynamic. No backstory dump, no “just talking”—use action, contradiction, tone, and subtext to layer meaning.
Time Limit: 2 hours
Word Count: Strict 500-word max
Evaluation Criteria
Strong Response:
• The second character’s presence actively changes the emotional temperature of the scene.
• Character interaction creates dynamic tension, not static agreement or exposition.
• Dialogue and action reveal conflict without overexplaining motive.
• Each character’s emotional arc shifts slightly—new vulnerabilities or resistances emerge.
• Subtext is present—what’s unsaid matters as much as what’s said.
Weak Response:
• The second character exists to confirm or echo the first character’s complaint.
• No emotional or narrative movement by scene’s end.
• Dialogue is flat, literal, and overly explanatory.
• The scene feels like an exercise in description, not pressure.
• Stakes remain unchanged—no disturbance, no revelation.
Follow-Up Workshopping Questions
• What does the second character do to complicate the first character’s internal state?
• How has the power dynamic shifted from the beginning to the end of the scene?
• What’s left unsaid that could be charged with meaning?
• Could this scene exist without one of the characters? If yes, cut it or rewrite.
• Did the interaction leave a new question in the reader’s mind?
Recommended Reading
“Emergency” by Denis Johnson (from Jesus’ Son) – Watch how the narrator’s interactions with Georgie shift the emotional register of the story despite minimal exposition. Georgie doesn’t fix the narrator’s disaffection—he disorients it, complicates it, reconfigures the reader’s understanding of the narrator’s internal landscape.
Strong Example Snapshot
Two EMTs, one asleep in the rig, the other watching a heart monitor tick steadily. When the second wakes up, he starts humming a lullaby their last patient sang before dying. The first one lashes out—this isn’t the moment. But the humming continues, softer. The first one’s resistance begins to falter, something buried surfaces. No resolution, just pressure applied and a crack formed.
Weak Example Snapshot
A barista complains about rude customers. A coworker agrees and says “Yeah, people suck.” They bond over mutual loathing. Scene ends with one saying, “Maybe it’ll get better tomorrow.” Nothing has shifted. No narrative energy. Could be a journal entry. Delete and start over.
Leave a comment