“Free indirect style is at its most powerful when hardly visible or audible: “Jen watched the orchestra through stupid tears.” In my example, the word “stupid” marks the sentence as written in free indirect style. Remove it, and we have standard reported thought: “Jen watched the orchestra through tears.” The addition of the word “stupid” raises the question: Whose word is this? It’s unlikely that I would want to call my character stupid merely for listening to some music in a concert hall. No, in a marvelous alchemical transfer, the word now belongs partly to Jen. She is listening to the music and crying, and is embarrassed—we can imagine her furiously rubbing her eyes—that she has allowed these “stupid” tears to fall.” (James Wood, How Fiction Works)
Writing Exercise: Mastering Free Indirect Style
Key Writing Practice Techniques:
1. Seamless Narrative Perspective Shifts – The passage illustrates how free indirect style allows a character’s thoughts and emotions to filter through third-person narration without overt attribution.
2. Emotional Precision Through Word Choice – A single word like “stupid” infuses the sentence with subjective judgment, blending internal thought with external narration.
3. Subtle Characterization Through Voice – The technique enables readers to hear the character’s internal voice without breaking into direct thought or first-person narration.
500-Word Writing Prompt:
Write a scene in free indirect style in which a character experiences a moment of intense emotional reaction but is simultaneously embarrassed, self-critical, or dismissive of their own response. The character should not articulate this embarrassment directly; instead, their self-judgment must surface subtly through diction, phrasing, and rhythm within the third-person narration.
Choose one of the following scenarios, or invent your own:
• A retired boxer watches an old fight of his on TV and feels unexpectedly choked up.
• A scientist listens to a childhood song on the radio while working late in the lab.
• A woman receives an unexpected message from a former friend while standing in line at a grocery store.
Avoid direct internal monologue (e.g., She thought, This is ridiculous). Instead, embed her emotions and self-criticism within the narration itself, as James Wood demonstrates.
Evaluation Criteria for Success:
• Narrative Integration: Free indirect style should be nearly invisible; the character’s emotions and judgments must blend naturally into the third-person narration without explicit signaling.
• Precision of Word Choice: A single adjective, adverb, or unexpected phrase should subtly reveal self-consciousness, self-judgment, or embarrassment.
• Authenticity of Voice: The language should feel organic to the character’s psyche rather than the author’s imposition.
• Subtlety Over Statement: Strong responses avoid over-explaining emotions, trusting the reader to infer self-consciousness from tone and diction.
Strong vs. Weak Examples:
• Strong: He rubbed his jaw, feeling the faint pulse of an old knockout. Stupid, how the grainy footage still made his throat tighten.
• Weak: He felt emotional watching his old fight. It was silly to get choked up, but he couldn’t help it. (Too explicit, lacks subtlety, doesn’t blend emotion into the narrative naturally.)
Follow-Up Questions for Workshopping/Revisions:
• Where does the character’s internal voice subtly shape the narration? Can it be heightened further?
• Does any phrasing feel too overt, shifting toward direct thought or telling rather than implying?
• Are there moments where a single word or phrase could more effectively inject the character’s self-awareness?
• How does the rhythm of the sentences reflect the character’s internal state? Does it feel natural?
Recommended Reading:
Alice Munro’s Runaway (from Runaway), especially moments of Carla’s internalized shame and resistance, demonstrates free indirect style’s power to reveal deep emotional conflict without breaking narrative flow.
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