“I like some description but not too much of that…. Sometimes I want a book to break loose with a bunch of hooptedoodle…. Spin up some pretty words maybe or sing a little song with language. That’s nice. But I wish it was set aside so I don’t have to read it. I don’t want hooptedoodle to get mixed up with the story.’’” (Elmore Leonard, Killshot)
Writing Exercise: The Artful Containment of Hooptedoodle
Techniques Illustrated by the Quotation:
1. Strategic Use of Stylistic Flourish – Lyrical writing must serve a purpose, appearing in moments that demand heightened attention, emotional weight, or revelation.
2. Rhythmic Control of Narrative Momentum – The writer must regulate the pace, knowing when to let language expand and when to cut it back to maintain tension and drive.
3. Separation of Style from Substance – Beautiful writing cannot replace story; it must deepen the reader’s experience without distorting clarity, stakes, or emotional truth.
500-Word Writing Prompt:
Write a scene where the tension is high—a confrontation, a discovery, a decision that will alter a character’s path. Within this scene, weave in a passage of lyrical, image-driven prose, allowing the language to momentarily “sing,” but ensuring that this flourish does not derail momentum. The stylistic break should feel like a controlled detour rather than a distraction—an intensification rather than an interruption.
Your challenge: make this moment of heightened language essential. It should be impossible to remove without flattening the emotional or thematic depth of the scene. The surrounding prose should maintain narrative propulsion, pulling the reader through rather than bogging them down.
Consider:
• A lawyer making a closing argument and allowing personal memory to momentarily color their speech.
• A soldier in battle noticing something unexpectedly beautiful in the chaos, before being forced back into action.
• A person at a funeral fixating on a seemingly minor sensory detail that reframes their grief.
Evaluation Criteria for Success:
• Strong Response: The lyrical passage emerges naturally at a moment of heightened significance, deepening emotion or insight without disrupting flow. The balance between functional storytelling and stylistic flourish is deliberate, with the descriptive passage acting as a necessary, illuminating counterpoint to the forward-moving scene.
• Weak Response: The poetic passage feels indulgent, forcing the reader out of the story rather than enriching it. Either the writing becomes self-conscious, prioritizing beauty over impact, or the language is too restrained, avoiding the challenge of integrating heightened prose at all.
Follow-Up Questions for Workshopping/Revision:
• If the lyrical passage were removed, would the scene lose something vital? If not, how can the language be better integrated?
• Does the rhythm of the piece support the shift in style, or does it feel abrupt or jarring?
• How does the balance of heightened and direct prose shape the reader’s emotional experience?
Recommended Reading:
• Jesus’ Son by Denis Johnson – Demonstrates how bursts of poetic language can intensify rather than diffuse a scene’s emotional weight.
• “The Tell-Tale Heart” by Edgar Allan Poe – Uses stylized prose to heighten tension without sacrificing forward motion.
• Savage Night by Jim Thompson – Shows how controlled lyricism can elevate pulp writing without undermining its pace.
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