“For award-winning short story writer Laura van den Berg, revision strategies come down to several key questions: “Where is the tension? Where is the arc? What is happening underneath the surface?” As she reviews her dialogue, van den Berg pays special attention to this latter issue. “It’s crucial to think about what’s crackling beneath the surface—where is the subtext? The layers? What is the end game for this conversation for the narrator? What does she want in this moment? These under-layers are a huge part of what brings energy to dialogue.”” (kobo.com, Crafting Dynamic Dialogue)
Writing Exercise: The Unspoken in Motion
Techniques Illustrated by the Quotation:
1. Subtext in Dialogue – Strong dialogue isn’t just about what is said but what remains unspoken. Characters should reveal hidden desires, tensions, or conflicts through what they say, hesitate to say, or avoid altogether.
2. Layered Character Motivation – Dialogue should reflect characters’ deeper motivations, fears, or agendas. What does a character want in this moment, and how does their speech (or silence) work toward or against that goal?
3. Tension and Arc in Conversations – A well-crafted dialogue scene should have a progression, a turning point, or a shift in power, understanding, or stakes.
Writing Prompt:
Write a 500-word scene in which two characters engage in a conversation that is ostensibly about one topic but is actually about something else entirely. Use subtext, hesitation, interruptions, and indirect responses to create tension. By the end of the scene, one character should have gained something (power, knowledge, control) while the other has lost something.
Possible scenarios:
• A parent and an adult child discussing weekend plans while sidestepping a deeper unresolved conflict.
• Two old friends meeting after years apart, testing the waters of what can or cannot be said.
• A doctor and patient discussing a minor diagnosis while avoiding the real emotional undercurrent of the conversation.
• A detective and a suspect speaking about an unrelated topic, each trying to outmaneuver the other.
Evaluation Criteria for a Strong Response:
• Subtext Presence – The dialogue should contain more than what is explicitly stated, with underlying tension, desire, or deception.
• Character-Specific Voice – Each character’s speech should reflect their personality, background, and emotional state, avoiding generic or expository dialogue.
• Shifts in Power or Understanding – The scene should not be static; by the end, the reader should sense a change in dynamic between the characters.
• Authenticity of Speech Patterns – The dialogue should feel natural, with pauses, interruptions, or indirect answers adding realism and depth.
Weak vs. Strong Execution:
• Weak Example:
• A husband and wife discuss what to order for dinner with no tension or deeper meaning. The conversation is purely logistical, with no underlying conflict.
• Two coworkers exchange dialogue that directly states emotions (“I’m mad at you for taking credit for my idea” instead of showing resentment through clipped sentences or passive-aggressive comments).
• Strong Example:
• A daughter suggests visiting her father this weekend; he keeps making excuses. Underneath, she’s asking if he’s drinking again, and he’s deflecting.
• A suspect keeps offering the detective coffee, stalling for time, while the detective keeps steering the conversation toward a missing piece of evidence.
Follow-up Workshopping Questions:
• Where does the tension peak in the conversation? Can it be heightened further?
• What remains unsaid but still communicated through implication, silence, or action?
• Do the characters’ spoken words align with their true motivations, or are they contradicting themselves in meaningful ways?
• How does the power dynamic shift throughout the scene?
Recommended Reading:
• The Paper Menagerie by Ken Liu (for layered emotional dialogue)
• Reunion by John Cheever (for an example of power shifting in conversation)
• The Half-Skinned Steer by Annie Proulx (for tension and subtext within interactions)
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