“A person in a long, black, collarless jacket, white shirt, and blue jeans was coming across the yard. He was a youngish man, well fed, with very bright blue eyes. A wave of sandy hair curved up over one eyebrow. He had pale pink skin, tight as uncooked sausage, with a bluish tint on the jaw. The shirt was collarless and buttoned tight beneath the throat. Like the white circle badge on his lapel, the thin white rim of the neckline suggested the neutral totality of the Faith House, the way it encompassed all things, all possible religions. He was not of the little market town—his clothes, his hair, his manner all screamed difference—but he walked through it with proprietorial confidence, unfurling like a flower wherever he turned his gaze.” (Jonathan Stroud, The Notorious Scarlett and Browne)
Writing Exercise: The Power of Character Description
Key Writing Techniques Illustrated by the Quotation
1. Multi-Layered Description – The passage moves beyond simple physical traits, using sensory details (color, texture, movement) to create an immediate, tangible sense of the character.
2. Implied Psychology and Social Context – The description doesn’t just depict appearance; it conveys personality, status, and history. The way the character carries himself, his clothes, and the symbolic details (white badge, collarless shirt) hint at his background and beliefs.
3. Dynamic Movement and Presence – The passage doesn’t just describe a static figure; it gives him momentum (“coming across the yard,” “unfurling like a flower”), reinforcing his confidence and dominance in the setting.
500-Word Writing Prompt
Write a scene in which a new character enters a familiar setting and immediately disrupts the social or psychological balance. The description should achieve three things:
• Establish their physical presence with rich sensory details
• Imply something deeper about their personality, background, or social standing without stating it outright
• Use movement or interaction with the environment to suggest their influence on the space
The setting could be a quiet suburban street, a family gathering, a tense workplace, or a decaying rural town—anywhere where the arrival of this character introduces contrast and potential tension. Avoid overly direct exposition. Let the details speak for themselves.
Evaluation Criteria for a Strong Response
• Vivid, Specific Detail – The character’s appearance should feel distinct and tangible, not generic. Weak example: “She was tall and had dark hair.” Strong example: “She stood a head above the rest, her ink-black hair so glossy it reflected the overhead lights like a mirror.”
• Implied Story and Psychology – The reader should sense something about the character beyond their physical description. Weak example: “He looked rich and arrogant.” Strong example: “His suit, a shade too crisp for a room like this, whispered of imported wool and privilege. He barely glanced at the others, as if measuring their worth in seconds rather than words.”
• Interaction with Setting – The character should feel dynamic, not like a static portrait. Weak example: “She walked into the room.” Strong example: “She drifted in without hurry, the click of her heels deliberate, as if testing the floor’s ability to hold her weight.”
Follow-Up Questions for Workshopping and Revision
1. What assumptions does the reader make about this character based on the description alone? Are these intentional?
2. Is there a balance between physical detail and implied personality? Does one overpower the other?
3. How does the character’s movement or presence interact with the environment? Does their arrival feel consequential?
4. Are any details too obvious or clichéd? Would a more original or subtle description be more effective?
Recommended Reading Example
“Roman Fever” by Edith Wharton – The way Wharton describes her characters, particularly through clothing, movement, and contrast, reveals their social positions, emotions, and inner conflicts without heavy-handed exposition. Pay attention to how subtle gestures and physical details imply deeper relationships and tensions.
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