“Free indirect style is at its most powerful when hardly visible or audible: “Jen watched the orchestra through stupid tears.” In my example, the word “stupid” marks the sentence as written in free indirect style. Remove it, and we have standard reported thought: “Jen watched the orchestra through tears.” The addition of the word “stupid” raises the question: Whose word is this? It’s unlikely that I would want to call my character stupid merely for listening to some music in a concert hall. No, in a marvelous alchemical transfer, the word now belongs partly to Jen. She is listening to the music and crying, and is embarrassed—we can imagine her furiously rubbing her eyes—that she has allowed these “stupid” tears to fall.” (James Wood, How Fiction Works)
Writing Exercise: The Subtle Power of Free Indirect Style
Key Writing Techniques Illustrated by the Quotation:
1. Blending Character and Narrator Perspective – Free indirect style allows the writer to merge third-person narration with the character’s internal voice, creating an intimate yet subtly controlled perspective.
2. Implied Emotion and Characterization – A single word or phrase can infuse the narration with a character’s emotions, biases, or worldview, eliminating the need for direct exposition.
3. Economy of Expression – Rather than explaining what a character feels, free indirect style allows those feelings to emerge organically through carefully chosen language, avoiding clunky interior monologue.
500-Word Writing Prompt:
Write a scene in which a character experiences a moment of deep emotion—grief, joy, shame, anger—without explicitly stating how they feel. The narrative should be in third person but should incorporate free indirect style to reveal the character’s inner state without shifting into direct thought or omniscient narration.
Your character should be in a public or semi-public space where their emotional response feels, to them, inappropriate or inconvenient. Consider how they might try to suppress or rationalize their feelings. Focus on subtle word choices that embed their perspective into the narration without overtly stating their emotions.
For example, instead of writing, “Eleanor felt humiliated when she dropped her coffee,” consider how a single word could do the work of revealing her emotions in a more integrated way: “Eleanor watched her coffee seep across the counter, fantastic. Just fantastic.”
Evaluation Criteria for a Successful Response:
• Subtlety of Free Indirect Style – The narration blends seamlessly with the character’s perspective, avoiding heavy-handed exposition.
• Precision of Word Choice – Individual words or phrasings subtly convey emotion without resorting to direct description.
• Narrative Immersion – The reader should feel deeply connected to the character’s experience without being explicitly told how the character feels.
• Natural Flow – The prose should avoid jarring shifts between an external narrator and the character’s internal voice.
Examples of Strong vs. Weak Execution:
• Weak: “Jon was furious that his boss embarrassed him in front of the team, but he knew he couldn’t say anything.” (Tells rather than shows; lacks character voice.)
• Strong: “Jon nodded along as his boss went on, his ‘helpful feedback’ drilling straight through Jon’s temples. Of course. Of course, he had to be the example.” (Jon’s frustration is clear through his sarcastic internalization without the need for direct exposition.)
Follow-Up Questions for Workshopping/Revision:
• Does the narration maintain a consistent, subtle blending of character and narrator perspective?
• Are there any places where the emotional impact could be deepened through a more precise word choice?
• Are there moments where the voice drifts too far into omniscient narration or direct thought?
• How does the scene change if you remove or alter key words that signal the character’s perspective?
Recommended Reading:
• Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf (for its seamless integration of free indirect style in everyday moments)
• The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro (for its restrained yet deeply emotional use of a limited third-person perspective)
• “Runaway” by Alice Munro (for its subtle shifts into and out of a character’s thoughts, revealing emotion through carefully chosen phrasing)
This exercise should help refine the ability to embed a character’s inner world within third-person narration, strengthening voice, emotional depth, and narrative subtlety.
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