“‘Where is Mira, anyway?’ and Jessica said, ‘She’s cooking – we should probably go help,’ and seconds later they had come out of the shed with bright, smiling faces and anxious eyes, and Mira was smiling back at them, pretending that she hadn’t overheard, that she’d been in her own little world, that she was none the wiser, though she knew that they could tell she was pretending, and it was clear to her that they could tell she knew.” (Eleanor Catton, Birnam Wood)
Writing Exercise: Revealing Character Through Layers of Perception and Subtext
Techniques Illustrated by the Quotation
1. Layered Awareness: The passage demonstrates how characters are often aware of others’ perceptions of them and respond to this awareness, creating a nuanced dynamic.
2. Subtext in Interactions: Much of the tension lies not in what is said but in what is implied—through gestures, expressions, and unspoken assumptions.
3. Emotional Authenticity in Pretending: The moment captures the complexity of pretending, where characters navigate emotions like embarrassment, defensiveness, or deflection while knowing they’re being observed.
Writing Prompt (500 Words)
Write a scene where two or more characters engage in a subtle, charged interaction. The central focus is one character’s attempt to pretend they are unaware of a critical piece of information, while the others attempt (or fail) to mask their awareness. Follow these parameters:
• Point of View: Use close third person to immerse readers in the pretending character’s internal experience.
• Setting: Situate the scene in a shared, mundane space (e.g., a kitchen, a car, or a breakroom) to heighten tension through understatement.
• Action and Subtext: Avoid direct confrontation or explicit discussion of the underlying tension. Instead, rely on body language, fragmented dialogue, and internal monologue to reveal what’s really happening.
• Emotional Complexity: Ensure the pretending character wrestles with their emotions (e.g., shame, irritation, amusement) while maintaining their facade.
Evaluation Criteria
1. Layered Awareness
• Strong Response: The characters’ awareness of each other’s perceptions is clearly, but subtly, conveyed, creating a web of unspoken tension.
• Weak Response: The scene lacks complexity, with characters either over-explaining their feelings or failing to demonstrate any awareness of others’ perceptions.
2. Subtext and Implication
• Strong Response: The scene invites readers to infer deeper meanings through body language, half-finished sentences, or contrasting thoughts and actions.
• Weak Response: The subtext is absent or too heavy-handed, leaving little room for interpretation.
3. Emotional Authenticity
• Strong Response: The pretending character’s emotions feel believable, with internal conflict adding depth to their facade.
• Weak Response: The emotions seem one-dimensional or disconnected from the character’s actions.
4. Setting as a Catalyst
• Strong Response: The setting reinforces the tension (e.g., a kitchen amplifies claustrophobia or false domesticity).
• Weak Response: The setting feels irrelevant or generic, failing to contribute to the scene’s tone.
Follow-Up Questions for Workshop/Revision
1. How effectively does the pretending character’s internal conflict emerge without overt explanation?
2. Does the scene rely on meaningful subtext, or are emotions and dynamics spelled out too explicitly?
3. How does the setting enhance (or fail to enhance) the tension and atmosphere?
4. Are the dynamics between characters balanced, with each one contributing to the layered tension?
Recommended Reading
“Good People” by David Foster Wallace
This short story captures the emotional tension between two characters pretending to maintain a surface-level calm while grappling with deep inner conflict. The subtlety of their interaction and the unspoken layers of understanding make it an excellent study in subtext and layered perception.
Example of Strong Response: A character in a breakroom overhears coworkers gossiping about their recent failure but pretends not to notice. The character’s forced smiles, the deliberate stirring of coffee, and their internal battle between anger and humiliation create a layered, tense scene.
Example of Weak Response: A character directly confronts coworkers about gossip without attempting to mask their feelings, eliminating subtext and missing the exercise’s focus on subtlety and layered interaction.
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